Think Aloud

Once upon a time, Ojii-san (old man) and Obaa-san (old lady) lived in a 30 year-old conservative apartment in Tokyo. Just three years before Ojii-san’s retirement from the Japanese prestigious bank, his company went bankrupt. It caused a significant financial burden on the company’s loyal employees. Ojii-san had worked in the company for almost 40 years, but he couldn’t claim any retirement funds that he had saved. On the day he learned of the company’s bankruptcy, Ojii-san dropped his shoulders in his gray suits, and got on the subway train from Akihabara station just as usual. The subway train was not crowned as the morning rush, but he couldn’t find a seat to sit. Young people squeezed into seats, put their hoods on their head, playing games on their phone, totally ignoring the frail Ojii-san. Ojii-san had a right to have negative feelings about these young people. But worrying about tomorrow was way heavier than complaining about ignorant passengers on the seat. “What am I going to do?” He contemplated by looking out at the night sky through the subway window.

In the meantime, Obaa-san went to the dry cleaning store to pick up Ojii-san’s suits. “In three years, he will retire and I won’t have to come here anymore.” Obaa-san chatted with the store clerk about how excited she was about her dream of traveling around the famous hot springs all over Japan with her husband. Obaa-san stopped by the meat vendor to buy four croquettes (fried mashed potato) for dinner. Passing by the little park at the corner, she noticed something unusual. It was a treasure box that didn’t seem to belong in the park. A bright beam was shining through a crack. Obaa-san gingerly approached the box. The inside of the box was intensely glowing and she couldn’t stop her curiosity. Obaa-san looked around to make sure no one was watching her, then picked up the treasure box and took it home.

When Obaa-san came home, Ojii-san was already home and making hot water for their tea. “Okaeri (Welcome home), Obaa-san.” “Tadaima (I am home), Ojii-san. You are early today.” And she continued, “Look at what I found in the kids’ park.” Before she finished her sentence, Ojii-san amazed its shiny beam coming through the crack. “Obaasan, it might be dangerous. We have to bring it to the police,” Ojii-san cried. Obaa-san said, that’s okay but let’s do it after we open it,” Obaa-san insisted. So they opened it. In the box, there was a new born baby boy. “Oh, my goodness, it’s a baby boy!” “We finally got our baby!” Ojii-san and Obaa-san were overjoyed and picked the baby up from the box. As soon as Obaa-san cuddled the new baby, he curled up then stretched his arms out. “Waaaa!” Immediately after his stretch, the baby let go of Obaa-san’s arms and rolled on to the floor. “Obaa-san, you have to be careful,” Ojii-san told Obaa-san with frustration. “Ojii-san, the baby is growing!” As if watching a Sci-Fi movie, the baby became larger and larger each time he stretched. Within a minute, the baby became a teenage boy fully clothed. “Hi, Ojii-san and Obaa-san. My name is Kintaro. Can I live with you?” Both Ojii-san and Obaa-san completely dropped their jaw and could not respond to Kintaro. “Live with us?” Ojii-san finally mumbled. Ojii-san and Obaa-san looked at each other and waited for each other’s reaction. Ojii-san’s smile faded. “I don’t think we can.” Obaa-san replied right away, “Why not?” Ojii-san sadly shared news. “My company went bankrupt. I have no more job nor retirement money.” Obaa-san couldn’t believe what she just heard from her husband. “Oh, no, Ojii-san, that’s terrible. What are we going to do?”

Kintaro interrupted their conversation. “Ojii-san, Obaa-san. I am going to win the Strong Men’s contest in two weeks. The prize is 100,000,000 yen.” Ojii-san and Obaa-san were in shock. How could they even trust this weird teenager to win the contest? Obaa-san said, “This is a miracle person from a magic box. He could make a miracle. I trust him! Let’s eat dinner.” Obaa-san went to the kitchen to fix dinner. She served rice in a bowl, tofu & wakame miso soup, 2 croquettes, and thinly cut cabbage on the plate for Kintaro. Ojii-san and Obaa-san had one croquette and it was enough for them. Those three people sat at a low dining table on a tatami (traditional straw) mat, enjoying each other’s company that night.

Now Ojii-san had no reason to go anywhere since he lost his job. He decided to help train for Kintaro’s Strong’ Man’s Contest. When Ojii-san was in high-school, he was in the track team, specialized in the discus, and won several medals. It was a good old day. The magic treasure box provided everything for Kintaro and Ojii-san’s training. When they needed Kintaro’s training clothes, it had them. Shoes, new underwear, socks, weight, dumbbells, jump ropes, everything Kintaro needed, magically appeared in the box. As soon as they put things away in the box, they disappeared. So Kintaro didn’t need any closet space. Obaa-san made 3 big rice balls, two for Kintaro and one for Ojii-san. Soon, Ojii-san became stronger, too. Ojii-san knew how to massage the exhausted muscles and taught Kintaro. So every day, Ojii-san and Kintaro worked out without any excuses. Ojii-san also ran with Kintaro. Obaa-san joined in for light jogs. Every night, the three of them enjoyed dinner together. Their dinner was of course, from the treasure box.

The Strong Men’s Contest day arrived. Kintaro was ready to compete against fellow competitors. Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro were all in good condition. They left home early and jogged two stations away from their home and got off two stations before the competition so that they could jog more. Ojii-san and Obaa-san no longer worried about retirement. They were confident for Kintaro to win this championship. The first round was basic strength. Judges measured each competitor's muscle mass, tested the steroid use, challenged the nutritious knowledge, and their heart strength through the EKG that allowed each contestant to compete all the way up to the finals. Kintaro easily passed everything. In the second round, it was intense. There was an obstacle course where competitors showcased their strength in three different ways. Kintaro climbed up a boulder and down, then pushed it back to the start line. The 0ther competitors were as strong as Kintaro, but they totally lacked the agility that Kintaro possessed. They were slow. The next obstacle was the large red Toyota Tacoma truck. Kintaro wisely wrapped a metal chain around the truck and set himself in front of it. His teeth were shining and as strong as metal from daily fish, milk consumption, and Obaa-san’s rice balls. He put the metal chain into his mouth, “Aaaaa!” Kintaro began pulling the humongous truck with his teeth! The truck started moving as other competitors were wrapping around their trucks. Kintaro picked up his momentum, and in one big pull, Toyota Tacoma reached the top of the hill! On the hill, there were ten iron balls 100 kg each. Contestants were expected to put them all in the truck and push it to the finish line. Obaa-san shook her pom poms and yelled, “Let’s go, Kintaro!” Ojii-san, too, joined Obaa-san, “That is my son! Go, Kintaro!” Announcers were so excited to report each move of Kintaro. The audience cheered, “Kintaro, Kintaro!” When Kintaro’s Toyota Tacoma touched the finishing tape, everybody cheered for this remarkable strong man, Kintaro, who they had never seen before. But the competition was not over yet. The final task was to remove 10 semi-truck’s tires from one side to the other side. Competitors could choose if they carry one tire at a time or multiple tires at once. Kintaro piled all ten tires up with his miraculous speed, and started pushing. The audience roared again. The announcers, who were both strong men’s champions, couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Ten tires were balanced, and moving inch by inch. Kintaro’s face was all red and wrinkled. Sweat covered his face, arms, back, and everywhere else, making his skin glow. When he reached the final finish line, confetti was bursted and Kintaro was acclaimed as the $100,000,000 Strong Men’s Contest Winner! A tall blond haired reporter directed her microphone to Kintaro, “Congratulations, Kintaro! What are you going to do with your prize?” Kintaro was still huffing and puffing but eventually, he said, “This is retirement money for my father and mother.” As soon as this scene was aired on TV, Kintaro got 12k followers on his Instagram. Nike contacted Kintaro to sponsor him for further training. The Protein Bar company asked him to be in their commercial. Media created more income sources for Ojii-san and Obaa-san. They were so thankful for what Kintaro did for them, yet they were not ordinally Ojii-san and Obaa-san anymore. They became strong and healthy seniors through Kintaro’s training.

After the Strong Men’s Contest, Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro continued their exercise. One day, Ojii-san said, “Why don’t we pay our experiences forward to the community?” “That’s a great idea!” Ojii-san and Obaa-san bought clear land and built a Community Gym and Financial Service with Kintaro. Ojii-san consulted people who couldn’t afford a financial advisor for free in the new building. Obaa-san made rice balls for homeless people with the help of volunteers. Kintaro became the lead fitness advisor in the gym. The new community building was all free and you would think that $100,000,000 disappeared very quickly. You cannot underestimate Ojii-san’s 40 years of financial experience! Ojii-san invested half of the prize money into several machine learning companies and it tripled its initial amount! In the meantime, Obaa-san’s rice balls were spotlighted in Japanese cooking shows and celebrity chefs magazines. She ended up to be an author of the Rice Ball Recipe book. It became the New York Time’s best seller for 14 straight weeks!

Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro were still humbly living in the same apartment, though, until Kintaro finally married someone. Whenever they opened the treasure box, they could find whatever they needed. And they lived happily ever after. Medetashi, medetashi.

(Empathy during Holiday Season Part 1 is Here.)

Why do we cry?

According to Health Line, research suggests that when you cry, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin. These natural chemical messengers help relieve emotional distress along with physical pain. In other words, crying is a self-soothing behavior.

Knowing that crying is self-soothing, we cannot say, “Don’t cry,” to anyone anymore. What can we say? Here are some suggestions;

It’s okay to cry, here is some tissue.
It must be painful for you.
Is it okay for me to stay with you?
Can I share my story?
I will be happy to hear your story if you want.

And remember, your job is NOT fixing the person. You are there to support. If the person doesn’t want to respond to any of your gestures, bring a glass of water and a fuzzy stuffed animal or blanket, then, leave. Your actions are telling the person that you are available whenever and however they need you. So they will reach you when they are ready.

If you are grieving this holiday season, please know you are not alone. There are many people around you who want to help you. Here are some mindful tips;

Set your spot for your cry with a blanket or a stuffed animal, tissue, and hot cocoa, or tea, but not alcohol.
Jot down anything that comes in your mind in the notebook for 20 minutes. Don’t judge, just write them all down.
Draw or paint as your mind allows. Let your creativity free.
Play your favorite song or just listen. Relax your body. Color with colored pencils.
Start your gratitude journal. What are you grateful for today?
Bundle up and walk outside. When you see someone, say hello from you with a smile.
Take a nap.
Self-Compassion meditation for short 5 minutes with some self-talk like, “May I Be Peaceful,” “May I Be Calm,” and “May I be happy.” Don’t feel guilty when you take care of yourself.
You are not bothering when you are calling someone. You are reaching out to the person because that person knows your circumstances.
Pause and breathe whenever you notice you feel overwhelmed.

*If you ever experience severe depression, please seek an appropriate medical profession.

In addition to cry, many or these activities would produce endorphins and oxytocin. Whether you are supporting or grieving during the holiday season, let’s be kind to each other and yourselves. While someone’s pain wouldn’t go away, we all can learn how to cope with the pain. It just takes time sometimes.

May you be peaceful.